sadness!!

sadness.
don't feel like expressing it out.
how i hope that all this will end

as soon as possible.

wish to away from here

will go to island another few hours

and i know

everything will be alright.

I miss you without you realiasing!!

My arms have been wide open this whole time.
I'm tired of being disappointed,
But you seem to let me down all the time. :(

You will never know~
I miss you without you realising!!

thousand of sorry N thanks!!

Dear LMF,
You've made me feel loved.
And for that, I'll never forget you.
I wish I could just be with you.
You have no idea,
I'm so thankful for you,
That you're willing to be there for me.
That you willing showing me your sincere.

But then...
I dont want to be a liar.
I don want to be with you,
I dont want to lean on you,
Because you are not the one,
That i wish to cry on,
That i wish to share my life.

Maybe one day things will work out for us.
But for now..
I'm just happy to be your friend
You'll never have a place in my heart.
Sorry for treated you so cruel.
And thank you for treated me so well.


God may rewards you ... one day.

Choco choco choco..late!!

Yay! So much chocolate in the fridge right now!
CHOCOLATE WEEK for me!!
Thanks for Tshin bought me chocolate from Labuan,
Thanks for my sister bought me chocolate from KL!!
But im still waiting my Mint Chocolate from Singapore ~
Hey.. where is my After 8?

Once again, thanks God for good friends!!!

No turning back!!

Dear you,
You walked out on me,
So... please dont come back,
Let's just face the fact..
There is .... no turning back!

We can still be friends!

best weekend ever!

Hands down,
The best weekend ever.
I am loved.

Now I'm sick with a sore throat.
But who cares.
I'm going to have lemon honey. Heh.
No hazelnut white coffee for me this week.
Whatever.
I am happy!!!

Catch me when i fall~

Ashlee Simpson - Catch Me When I Fall

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me
I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost
Is anybody out there
Does anybody see

That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me

focus on living

Lord,
I know You're not out to get me.
They happen for a reason.
Even though they do hurt,
It's not supposed to break my spirit.

I've been feeling broken.
But I know that something will come out of this.
And I continue to believe.
I continue to hope.
I continue to love.
Because I trust in You. Amen.


I've been feeling rather depressed.
Especially this week.

Hell,
It's been one depressing half a year.
But whatever.
I'm over it.

Here's to hoping for the best.
And believing God will pull through,
Every single time.

Lord,
You know my heart's desires.
And I believe in time,
You will give them to me.

Time.
Wait.
Live.

I think I'll just focus on living.

happy birthday~

You know,
Sometimes it hurts to think back,
Because I gave you everything.

But now?
I'm over it.
I'm taking everything back.
My life,
My heart,
Everything.

~Happy Birthday~

i'm okay~

I’m okay….

Thank you for all the heartfelt text messages!!
Really really touched me, about all the concerns…
And thank you kim for calling,
You really made me feel a lot better.
You’re the sweetest!!!

Its been few days since then,
And I am feeling much more better!!
I think it just takes time,
Not only times, I guess I need more rest!!

I am now carrier of cough and sore throat bacteria.
So people beware!!!!
May be because I was depressed,
And bacteria attracted to depressed people?
No one will ever know…

emotional post

I don’t know why
But at this very moment,
I’m sinking into depression.

This post is absolutely emotional,
And that I’ll probably be okay after a day, week, month,
I think I deserve the right to be depressed once in while.

I hate the feelings I have now~
God, can you save me?

another 5 days~

Dear you~
It's hard decision for me,
Guess it's about time that I'm finally moving on,
I don't really care if it's right or wrong.
And in spite of the way I love your touch,
I know it's gonna be better for both of us.
It hurts like hell but I gotta try,
You already know the reason why.
So no matter who's right or wrong,
Think it's finally time I'm moving on.
It's time to give you up .... forever.
It's totally a CLEAR CUT between us!!

We'll see.
Another 5 days to final decision.
If I'm not go for your birthday dinner,
Then just forget me ........... All of me!!!

feel young again!

I just came back from Tanamera, Lintas Square.
I had that wacky time,
the kind you can only have with wacky people,
with my friends Alice, Carl, Donna & Diane,
Yup, exactly, so they are those wacky people...

They talked about wacky words..
likes B.M.W. , S.A.D .....
but this wacky friends really gave me great joy of this gathering.
AND... its makes me feel young again!!!

i hope, really hope

There is something about reading old Friendster testimonials and listening to sad, touching music that does something to you.

It made me feel like I've forgotten who I really am, as well as wanting to write a testimonial to all my friends, a REAL testimonial. ----> But I don't have time, and i'm busy with my work recently!!

BUT I hope, really hope to do it ~

Spending my Time

Love this song ~ a song from Roxette!!


Spending My Time Lyrics

Big Girls Don't Cry

It's time to be a big girl now ~


Fergie Big Girls Don't Cry Lyrics

opinions, please?

Everyone has gone curly.
Mine's.. inbetween.

So,The question is-
Go straight, curly or keep it as it is?
I don't know.
I wish my hair was long enough like those Guess models?
chicks.... OPINIONS, please?

用心储藏的感觉

有一种感觉， 只能用心去储藏，
只能永远把它埋葬在心底最深处，
那是一种可悲，更是一种无奈，
我很讨厌 .... 我有这种感觉!!

please ~ ~

LMF,
If I don't pick up my phone..
Reply texts or respond when you try to chat with me..
It's becasue i'm stressed out and just want to be left alone.

Don't nudge me, or I will get frickin' pissed off.
If I talk to you, then I do.
If I don't.. then I don't.

Okay?

Be strong!!!

"Had a dream about you late last night... and I woke up crying."

I really wish you can hear this song.
Would be more easier for you to get over alot of things.
Anyway.. you need to get through losing someone you love..
Be strong. Esther!!! this one is for you. *hugs*

am i weird?

someone told me that i am weird ~
guys... am i really weird?

well.. im weird because im special,
you're weird too...unless.. you're not special!!
so.. i dont need you to tell me im weird..
because i know that im special.. : )

I'd Rather ~

I'd Rather - Luther Vandross


I thought sometime alone was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart

**********************
wow.. a nice song.. agree?

im thinking of you ~

16 SIGNS YOU LOVE SOMEONE

SIXTEEN:
When you're on the phone with them
late at night and they hang up, you
still miss them even when it was just
two minutes ago.

FIFTEEN:
You read their texts and emails over
and over again.

FOURTEEN:
You walk/drive really slow when you're
with them.

THIRTEEN:
You feel shy & turn into anyone but
yourself whenever they're around.

ELEVEN:
When you think about them, your heart
beats faster but slower at the same
time.

TEN:
You smile when you hear their voice.

NINE:
When you look at them, you can't see
other people around you, you just
see him/her.

EIGHT:
You start listening to slow songs
while thinking about them.

SEVEN:
They're all you think about.

SIX:
You get high just from their scent.

FIVE:
You relize you're always smiling when
you're looking at them. Sometimes even
laugh out loud.

FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just
to see them.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one
person on your mind this whole time.

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that
person, you didn't notice number twelve
was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & now
realised that you really do love that
person.

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. GO FOR IT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yeah... im thinking of you ~ "#grinn#"
God, if you're there for me... can you help me?

tiredness~

I'm feeling so tired all the times lately,
It's actually getting ridiculous,
Like... i'm only *&^ year old ..
I'm supposed to be "at the peak of my youth",
very energetic and 'bursting with my life' =P

how funny ~
i feel everything ....
but i want my bed, my pillow adn my beloved bolster!!!
guys.. help me out!!!

decisions making

Making WISE decisions are always not easy!
having to think from so many different aspects is also NOT EASY!
but!!! all of this will only push me to greater heights and
allow me to work better.

At the end of the day,
God is still the One steering my directions.

revitalization~

I miss him,
But it's getting better.
I think i'm slowly starting to focus on other things.

This is the year of change.
I'm determined to make it.

Here i am ~

It feels like i havent updated my blog in a loooooong time. I've been so busy with everything that's happening.

Thank you to all those that really supported me and gave me a lot of motivation. The past few days were the days where i was just trying to regain my confidence. Felt stupid and dumb most of the time but i'm glad to have friends around me that are ever so willing to help me get through my works. *smiles widely*

I really miss my PIAfriends, yep! you guys really #$%&^ me!!! lol.. :-)

▫° 我，很矛盾... ▫°

快帮我想想,
我到底該怎么办..

我該..勇往直前
還是...
保持原來的樣子

我想,
現在的我還真的是..
很矛盾~~

Can anybody just... love?

I've been reconnecting with old friends recently,
was bitchin' with them a lot,
im in love with it.
yea.. i really like it.

Someone visited me last week,
in fact, im not interested in anyone and really just can't.
if I was interested in someone though...
he'd smell really good, he'd be tall, and he'd have a sexy voice--
dont ask me whether he'd the criteria above..
im not going to answer anyway. lol

Have you ever gotten asked,
"what has he ever done to earn your love?"
i've been asked by one of my friend lately,
its makes me wonder and wonder -
does love really demand one to have done something worthy enough?
does love really demand one to have earned that love?

Can anybody just… love?
yea.. just, love!!!
without conditions, without deed, without desire?
maybe desire is the wrong word.
hmn.. without wanting, needing more?
can you just love?
can i just love?

love just is, isn't it?
its hard to get kind of love in this way,
just love him for who he is -
as an entirely different entity apart from me.
im trying to work on it from now on..

guys.. wish me luck!!!

.

~ im #%&#$ now ~

kenneth, just to answer your question...
the reason is that i am one of that kind of people
who are not suitable to have one.
im too serious about relationships
that its not easy for me to start.
its sort of game wasting energy and time,
im scare of start any at this moment.. believe?
is this answer clear for you? lol..

vic, how am i going to forget about you?
they says 'friends are for keeps'..
somemore, you are right,
i do appreciated his effort,
yea.. will try it out..
no worries ya..

nic, woohoo.. gaL!!
i know you are happy for me,
thanks for your support,
thanks for listened to me.
thanks for your caring..
cheers my chick!!

hey all..
im so glad,
im so proud,
im so honoured to announce to the whole world that:
im #%&#$ now. :)
Happy Valentine to those cutesy couples,
Happy Un-Valentine to those who are w/out a sweeties,
Happy Valentine to my valentine... LoL!!!

.

thanks God for good friends~

I can't believe im having another good day,
yay !! .. im still in a good mood till now..
i just feel so blessed... :-)
nothing particular in mind actually,
i miss my bitches and suckers at glasgow,
i miss me JihMui at kk,
i miss my crazy piagroup,
i miss my chicks and dudes at kl and jhr,
i miss my dear friends at miri and kch,
i miss those i sit with during my high school.
i miss my ex-colleagues who are still stuck in the miserable hsbc.
but i'm sure we'll still be able to meet one day! right !!!???
you, you and you.. i miss all of you!!! lol...
thanks God for good friends!

.

Benito's Bistro

i think i'm officially in love with the place,
went to Benito's Bistro yesterday with my friend,
what can i say?
service, presentation, ambience, food..
can reach the 5 star level..
chocolate cupcake? all the frickin' stars in the sky + 1
a place that i will definitely go again,
especially the chocolate cupcake,
take my advice, try it !!!
im sure you guys wil thanks me for the advice..
try it out ya.. :)


.

Thank Goodness Its Friday ~

Today has been a long day, but its friday so Im happy nonetheless. Woke up early to do some cleaning, one of my friend came from KL and visited me, i was quite nervous to meet up with him, the feeling so strange... a bit weird honestly! lol.

Going out tonight, prolly over to shenni, not sure. But im ready to let loose!
Hope y'all have a wonderful and safe friday!

Guess what?

Guess what?????

Im back ... !!!

Blogger ..... here i come!
OMG it feels soooo good to be back,
i forgot how much I missed blogger.
but im back..
love me yay!
*smile*

i wish i'll be back soon ~

there is raining outside,
it is an absolute joy to me that it has been raining..
at least for the past 2 days in kk..
it makes the outdoors feel like air-conditioned rooms,
yea.. i love rainy days,
they are just beautiful,
but not in the emotional way..
just the naturally beautiful way..

wil back to hometown another 15 minutes,
my brother keeps calling me,
know that he is worrying the samething with me,
know that he is not in a peaceful mind last 2 days,
i bet both of us need a hug to support each other,
i must admit that he is a good son and a good brother,
proud that i have a brother like him,
i thanks God and thanks my parents that gave him to me,
who can always understand me and wipe my tears,
who can always support me and advice me nothing to fears,
who can always be there without judge,
yay.... all and all, i love him so much.. *GRINN*

hmn... so many love flying around recently,
which makes me sort of headache..
i dont know what to do honestly..
because its not a right time to think about it now,
i have bigger issues to bear in mind, to worry about,
please dont bother me with those things especially in this period.
i like a healthy friendship..
just maintain the way we are now..
please dont push me away .. okay?

well, some girls might feel proud in this kind of situation,
but to be frank, i just want to be simple and ordinarily girl,
just maintain the life i have now,
prefer surrounded by buddies rather than those who are annoying,
its sort of game that wasting time and energy,
its sort of game that not suitable me,
solving problem is not my expertise,
so guys, stop there and give me a break ya..

lastly, take good care everyone >_<
i might unable to online when my time in kudat,
i might unable to get update news from you guys,
remember to keep it all and update to me when im back,
i wish things will getting alright soon,
i wish i'll be back soon.. *cheers*


.

my recent update ~

Wow I haven't been here in a long time.
im starting to blog more and more seldom.
oh well.. what to do?
the big "Bz" word coming up..
not that i actually emotionals anyway.. lol

so many things happened but i can't blog about every single thing..
my mind is sorting out now what i can share with you guys here.. :P
well, life was full of ups and down recently,
the wonderful part is i was met up my bunch of buddies,
spent good times with them..
JC, about the pool, u must practise more ya.. hohoho..
so that next time u can challenge me again.. *sigh*
guys, thanks for the hospitality and friendship, its really touched me..!!!
i love you guys.. you guys are definitely friends for life.. *hugz*

the worst part for me is i need to back to my hometown this evening,
for a period of time which requested by my parents,
not sure how long i gotta stay there,
i might no chance to online :(
and i'll become a healthy babe in my hometown.

somemore, i'd lost something which means a lot to me,
i dont know how could i get it back?
wish to go to sg to look for the same one,
but it seems meaningless?
im totally out of idea with it.

LMF, since you're coming to kk on 10th feb,
i'll try my best to arrange my time,
i wish that i able to meet you,
if things not getting worst.. okay?

PC, its really great to get in touch with you again,
thanks for your treat on friday,
sorry that im not in the mode that night,
we can arrange time again after i back to kk. *promise*

VT, sorry for not able to meet you when your time in kk,
my mind was interrupted by some problem,
i really dont feel like hang out,
i know that you're disappointed,
thanks for calling me before your departure,
looking forward to meet you soon. *hugz*

SL, sad that unable to meet you up,
know that you'd back to sg,
thursday night im really sick,
no worries, i might go to sg again after CNY,
and hope that can catch you there.. :P

opps.. gonna stop here,
i got an appointment with someone i love so much..
yea.. got appointment with my Father God..
take care everyone, love ya.. *hugz*


.

Tiredness

well, im pretty tired so im going to keep this short.

i didn't go to sleep at all since last night.. 24 hours awake!! stayed up all night bitchin' and drink with those stupid chicks. lol. it's quite interesting honestly.

hmn.. i think body massage can be the best way to cure my tiredness. *give me five*

i love my friends, we had great time here for the last couple days, that's why i haven't written. anyway, i only can stand till 1am tonight, must rest early, therefore, no bitchin' and alcohol for tonight!! *sigh*

but im doubt i can do that, mind was still hyper active right now. lol.

trying to find a nice sentimental song that i heard last night, its touched my heart!! but haven't found it yet.

guys, wish me luck!


.

he fell in sick seriously!!

jackson called me this afternoon,
surprisingly, he invited me for a movie..

spent good time with him,
bowling and somes games..
bitching with him at a nice cafe.

its fun, makes me feel alive and young again

sharon, your predict was accurate..
he really fell in sick seriously!!! lol.
faster call up an ambulance for him!!!
beebooo.... beebooo..... beeboo....

nevertheless, i was happy today!!
well, its quite late now..

gotta go sleep.. :-)
still. life is full of ups and downs,

i shall just pray and hope for the best,
so, a thanksgving prayers for today is a must!!!
sweeties.. good night.. have a good rest and nice dream..

.

Don't know if you're my good friends?

Didn't sleep well for the past few nights,
nothing particular in mind actually.
was talked over the phone with some friends..
im headache and dozed off by now,
but i got a lot of things that i need to do later,
couldn't get into bed and continue my sleep.
tshin & kc.. your bad!!! lol.

Yeah,

I have a great bunch of good friends.
Don't know if you're my good friend?
If I can talk to you on the phone

without any weird awkward silences,
patient and willing to be your great listener,
bother giving you advice on things,
and i feel comfortable talking to you,
tell you things about me that nobody else knows,
you're my good friend definitely,
regardless of how long i've known you or how far away you are.

i had a dream ~

I had a dream

Sent a text message to my friend,

so i woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.

Thankfully he was awake to sort of keep me company.

He's probably dozed off by now,

but thanks anyway.. *hugz*

Definitely i feeling better now.

It's great to have good friend,

especially a good friend like you.

Charles.. thanks heaps...

.

网络 - 我的良伴!!!

正在听着一首首舒缓而忧伤的曲调，
我从旋律中感受到了悲伤，
听着这样的曲子总让人有无限的遐想
心也随之静下来.

夜很深了，所有的朋友也都睡下了.
我又是独自一人坐在这电脑前，
看着朋友们的部落格,
一篇篇的倾诉着心灵的感受,
在这虚拟的空间里,
朋友们都在寻求着心灵的发泄,
究竟在毫无保留的倾诉之时，又有几人在听？

曾在何时,

在孤寂时,网络成了我的良伴,

在悲伤时，我爱上了它,

曾经以为.
逃开了这个真实的世界,
我的灵魂就不至于哭泣.
究竟是网络拯救了我的灵魂,
还是我把灵魂丢失在了网络里？

.

please find strength to forgive me...

sometimes

for me
i dont always mean what im said
its just kind humour and stuff
too bad that the damage was done

it doesn't matter if i'm just saying it for a joke..
to be funny, to make people laugh and all that crap..
i know that once i said it...
it still hurts.. it still matters..
it still made other peoples uncomfortable..
even if i didn't mean it.

anyway
i'm sorry with my words
it's my bad
please find strength to forgive me

*hugz*


.

我超幸福的... 你们呢?

曾在何时,
蓝色忧郁仿佛是我的心情写照,
曾在何时,
灰色地带仿佛是我的私人专属区,
曾在何时,
这两种颜色仿佛成了我的最佳代表作.

有一道曙光,
划过了我的灰色地带,
照亮了我的心房,
蓝色忧郁被彩虹的色彩所取代,
让我重拾我的欢笑,
让我重新的知道这世界的美好.

我好想给你们一个真诚的拥抱,
也许此刻的你们深觉上天的不公,
也许此刻的你们有着一颗对生活感到疲惫的心,
也许你们曾经尝尽了人世间的冷暖,
希望你们能走出蓝色的心情....
朋友们, 告别灰色的天空吧..
那并不是属于我们的颜色.

现在的我,
正沉浸在彩虹的色彩当中,
好想与你们分享我内心的喜悦,
好想雀跃的与你们述说我的感想,
但这一切的一切,
只能意会而不能言传,
凡事都在于一念之差,
我们的诞生并非偶然,
我们都是在父母雀跃期待的心情下诞生,
我们都是神所祝福的,
所以我们都要幸福的活着,
我会默默的为你们而祈祷,
希望你们有着一颗平静而快乐的心,
也期望你们能有一颗丰盛而感恩的心,
来享受我们的人生, 来体会生活的美.
我想你们一定会发现, 原来我们都是幸福的.

.

i love you guys...

woke up early this morning (at least im the earliest)
packing stuff and getting ready to go home,
yea.. will be back soon..
i must admit, i had a great time here,
then for sure that im in a wonderful mood...

but i just come to realize now..
how hard it's gonna be to say goodbye to them later,
goodbye seems to be the hardest word for me..
im not sure when we can meet again..
most probably this coming month of May?
or shall we meet when september ends?

my dear friends,
thanks for all the memories,
thanks for sticking by me,
thanks for being my friends,
and most of all,
you guys are really cooL...
i love you guys... *hugz*





.

here comes 2007, leaving 2006 behind!

here comes 2007 , leaving 2006 behind
hmmm.. not even realising...
2006 is the past.. and 2007 is here to greet me..

looking back at 2006
what a year it has been for me..
full of ups and downs...
2006 - a year which i'll never forget..
it's been a wonderful year!!
im defenitely not gonna forget it!!
its been a year which i truly blessed by God..
God has showed me lots of wonders of his work..
he blessed me in so many different ways..
thanks God..

woohoo... im happy now..
its a good sign for me in the 1st day of 2007!!
im sure i'ill have a wonderful year in 2007!!
guys.. be happy and live life to the fullest!!
i gonna go out now,
its time to have fun..
well, this is my post for this lovely evening..
see ya.. bye..

.

淡了...散了.. 时间永远是真实的 !!

hi there!!! i found a meaningful article in a book store today..
it's touched my heart honestly, do you?...

时间把我们的爱冲淡
空间把我们的情分散
唯一的电话线
很难把我们系在爱情两端
不要说我们的爱已淡
不要说我们的情已散
找个好的借口
把我们都送回爱情的原点

爱就这样淡了　情就这样散了
我计划的未来没有出现
我经营的爱情宣告破产
爱情原来经不起时间的变迁

爱就这样淡了　情就这样散了
曾经的海誓山盟已不见
我被爱情重重抛在一边
爱情原来熬不住空间的考验


chicks, agree with the statement below? im not sure.. but it's damn CooL... yea!!!
做女人一定要经的起谎言，受得起敷衍，忍得了欺骗, 忘得了诺言，放的下一切, 最后用笑来伪装掉下的眼泪.