Musings from my heart

Why is love so complicated? Its something we all want and need, but it's something that we never seem to get quite right. Some of us love too hard. Some of us don't love enough. 

The Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 


I believe this is an excellent description of what love is, but it is not a good description of human nature. 


SOMETIMES LOVE COMES AT THE WRONG TIME!!! 

hug me tight~

you are pushing me away,

hug me tight and 

never let me go~ 

 

dear you~

dear you~

i really dont know what it is about you. maybe its the way nothing else matters when were talking, or how you make me smile more than anyone else. it could be the way that you say the exact right thing at the exact right time, but whatever it is, i just want you to know that it means everything to me~ 

accept for who i am~

I want a guy who could make me laugh,

and who could hug me tight, let me be the happiest person in the world..

but still accept me for who i am~

Missing him~

I miss him.

In fact, he's always on my mind.

Even when I tried to stay away from him.

I never managed to get him out of my mind..

Nothing's going to change.. It doesn't even matter to me anymore even if he's just using me for killing his time. All i want is to see that smile on his face, the look in his eyes.....

We both will move on in our lives,showing a perfect picture to others.. only we will know exactly how much we mean to each other..just knowing I'll always have a place in his heart, knowing he'll remember me once in a while..

it's enough for me...

i realised his love!!

I realised something.
My brother wants the best for me.
As long as it's reasonable and he able to give me.
He give whole heartedly.

How can i not be thankful with such a brother?
Even if he dont give as much.
Even if he just show that his love and care in other ways.

At the end of the day...
I reliased his love!!
I AM truly blessed!!!

迷失●回归●痊愈

喜欢一个自己不能去喜欢的人,是一种即无奈又心痛的感受.

每一次看到他,每一次惊觉自己的情感总是不受控制,

无法克制的往他身上倾注的时候,都要忍住渴望与心痛,

不断的提醒自己他不是自己可以喜欢的人.

当察觉自己有着这样矛盾挣扎的心情时候,

我真的讨厌自己!真的讨厌这样不熟悉的我!

迷失自己的感觉太可怕了!

逃避如果是最好的方法,

那么所有认识我的朋友,

就让我活在自己的世界吧!

我会在自己的世界痊愈的....

有一种情感 得拿心去感受

人活这一辈子，总会碰到几个特别的人，这类人可能只是你纯粹的精神寄托，但他不能被单纯的划归为朋友，因为他对你倾注的关爱超出了一般朋友的界限和理念，可你和他又不曾有过将之升华为爱人的那种，你们之间或者常常淡如水。所以，这一类人，应该是介于情人与朋友之间的。那，你和他之间的那种情感，那种超乎于寻常的友情、又不能简单的归类到爱情的情感，也只能是介于友情与爱情之间，也许你将它凌驾于友情与爱情之上。 他，可能曾经因你悲伤难过轻拍过你的背，可能因你怕黑牵过你的手，可能因你迷茫哭泣拥你入怀安抚，却，仅止于此。他的心时刻对你敞开，他的肩膀时刻准备让你依靠，你却只将他的容颜刻在了心房上。你静静的想他，默默地念他。在你快乐的想唱歌欢跳时，你会在第一时间告诉他，因为你希望他在你的身边一起分享你的快乐和无忧，一同拥抱幸福。当你忧愁烦恼的时候，你同样会想起他，你依然希望他能陪在你身边，给你个坚实的臂弯让你靠。尽管你不需要他的任何语言任何安慰，只要倚在他的身边，你就会心静如水，熬过所有锥心疼痛。可事实上，你却不曾向他诉说过，你怕属于自己的那份忧伤妨碍他平静的生活，你不想让他同你一起承担痛苦，你只是热切的希望他的世界里只有阳光沐浴。你或许会因为一首怀旧的老歌、一幕恋人的牵手想起他，想起他的宽容，想起他的宠爱。你或许会因为一道似曾相识的风景、一种触动心灵的相似的容颜想起他，想起他的真诚，想起他的执着。你更会因为午夜的星空、遥远的月亮想起他，想起他曾经带给你的欢乐，想起他带给你的无眠的美好……此时，你的心里总是暖暖的，有三分美好，有三分感动，有三分憧憬，更有一分执着。你会执着于与他的情与他的缘。他的叮咛，他的嘱咐，让你含着泪水说：你好罗嗦好烦人哦。心里却酸酸的，你不求拥有，只盼能痴痴的守侯。你想绑住他在身旁，却怕妨碍他在蓝天白云间翱翔的自由，那些世俗的传统的道德理念，因他而瓦解，即使成为世人眼中的叛离者。而你只是在心底深处为这个人留了一个小小的空间，静静地固守着那份说不清的情感。即使陪伴寂寞，你亦不会后悔！ 生命有时是无奈的，生活有时又是残酷的。当你觉得生命象一潭死水，寂静的没有一圈涟漪泛起时，你会心慌；当你觉得生活如一棵枯树，风干的寻不到一点生命的迹象时，你会心悸，你怕被生命遗忘，你怕被生活吞噬，但是，因为有了他的存在，你的生命多了条雨后的彩虹，你的生活有了满目的苍翠。也许，终其一生你们也不会产生经典的“执子之手，与子偕老”的爱情故事，但是，你会因为拥有了这样一个朋友，更加的热爱自己的生活，珍惜自己的生命。其实，你和他注定是两条没有交集的线段、夜空中闪烁的两颗永不相撞的星，不会酝酿出爱情果实，而且，你觉得似乎谈起爱情就亵渎了你们之间这份感情，这只能是一种超乎自然的、凌驾于爱情和友情之上的纯纯的另类情感。因为拥有了这种超然的情感，你变得更加的懂得坚强的生活，含笑走过那平淡的生命。即使没有一起慢慢变老，你依然心醉，为你拥有了那些无尽的回想与幻想，回想从前，幻想未来…… 你会很高兴，曾经拥有过那样一位朋友，曾经拥有过那样一份感情，纯净而又淡然，真挚而又绵长。你想他念他，或许你们的相识相知只是瞬间，可要彻底地忘记他却将花费你的一生，甚至终其一生他都会盘踞在你的内心深处，但是，你却很感激命运，感谢上苍给了你这样一个人，一个让你在这个世界上不在孤单，不在寂寞的人，即使是痛苦，也甜过麻木和苍白……虽然，他不会永远的陪伴在你的身边，虽然，你不曾要求他为你做些什么，你却希望他会过很很好，过的幸福安康，因为你知道他也希望你过的很好，他也希望你能好好照顾自己，哪怕万水千山。如果再见面时，他希望你能告诉他你很幸福！ 在这复杂的社会当中，在这无奈的人生当中，有这样一个人，当你不慎跌倒时，只要一抬头就可以看到关爱，当你走得疲倦时，只要一转身就可以找到依靠；有这样一种情感，当你受伤时会及时给予你宽慰，当你绝望时会及时拯救你的灵魂，你还奢求什么？这样一个人、这样一种情感，让你飘荡的心变得柔软脆弱，让饱受折磨的心拥有了温润的一隅，更让你独享着一生眷恋和牵伴、一世宽容和给予，拥有着今生的思念与回忆、来生的执着与寄托！有一种情感，只能拿心去感受；有一种情感，只能用心去储藏。有一种情感只能深藏在心底，时间越长越能感觉到它的美丽。

为什么?

一直都在问自己为什么...　

很多事情,明知道是错的,

为什么还要坚持?

是因为不甘心吗?

有时候,我们明明是爱一个人,

为什么仍然要放弃?

是因为没有结果吗?

有时候,我们明知道没路了,

为什么却偏偏还在前行?

我想我终于知道了!

因为是习惯了! :-(

secret in the dark!!

I really want you.
I really want to be with you.

But I can't.
But we can't.

Will it always be this way?
Do I dare say I love you?

who would you choose?

A friend of mine asked me today: "Who would you rather choose? The guy you love or the guy who loves you?"

I thought it was a good question, so i thought i'd answer it myself.

My friend said that you should pick the guy you love. Well... it makes sense.
After all, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." And of course.. it's true.

But.... my answer is different. While my initial answer was also "the guy i love," I changed my mind.... I would pick neither.

Why?

Firstly, I could never pick a guy who loved me but i didn't love back. I'd hate him and I'd hate myself for agreeing to be with him.. I know this because i've been in a situation like this. I felt like the world was crashing down upon me. So, that's out of the question.

Secondly . . . why wouldn't i pick the guy I love?

Because i know what it feels like to like someone who doesn't like you back. Or, in my case, someone who I thought liked me back but ended up with someone else. :(

I believe in the whole, "If you love someone, you'll set them free" I know myself well enough.

If I like someone who doesn't like me back, I don't persist. I'll definitely set him free. Let him do what he wants to do. I'll hide the feelings, put them deep inside my heart until they're so deeply buried I can hardly find them again...

It's better that way.

So, once again, what is my answer? NEITHER. I'm sure i would pick neither.

thousand of sorry N thanks!!

Dear LMF,
You've made me feel loved.
And for that, I'll never forget you.
I wish I could just be with you.
You have no idea,
I'm so thankful for you,
That you're willing to be there for me.
That you willing showing me your sincere.

But then...
I dont want to be a liar.
I don want to be with you,
I dont want to lean on you,
Because you are not the one,
That i wish to cry on,
That i wish to share my life.

Maybe one day things will work out for us.
But for now..
I'm just happy to be your friend
You'll never have a place in my heart.
Sorry for treated you so cruel.
And thank you for treated me so well.


God may rewards you ... one day.

Can anybody just... love?

I've been reconnecting with old friends recently,
was bitchin' with them a lot,
im in love with it.
yea.. i really like it.

Someone visited me last week,
in fact, im not interested in anyone and really just can't.
if I was interested in someone though...
he'd smell really good, he'd be tall, and he'd have a sexy voice--
dont ask me whether he'd the criteria above..
im not going to answer anyway. lol

Have you ever gotten asked,
"what has he ever done to earn your love?"
i've been asked by one of my friend lately,
its makes me wonder and wonder -
does love really demand one to have done something worthy enough?
does love really demand one to have earned that love?

Can anybody just… love?
yea.. just, love!!!
without conditions, without deed, without desire?
maybe desire is the wrong word.
hmn.. without wanting, needing more?
can you just love?
can i just love?

love just is, isn't it?
its hard to get kind of love in this way,
just love him for who he is -
as an entirely different entity apart from me.
im trying to work on it from now on..

guys.. wish me luck!!!

.

i love you guys...

woke up early this morning (at least im the earliest)
packing stuff and getting ready to go home,
yea.. will be back soon..
i must admit, i had a great time here,
then for sure that im in a wonderful mood...

but i just come to realize now..
how hard it's gonna be to say goodbye to them later,
goodbye seems to be the hardest word for me..
im not sure when we can meet again..
most probably this coming month of May?
or shall we meet when september ends?

my dear friends,
thanks for all the memories,
thanks for sticking by me,
thanks for being my friends,
and most of all,
you guys are really cooL...
i love you guys... *hugz*





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