May be, just MAYBE....

Maybe i should also assume that it is not important. at least not to u.

maybe i should just say "oh. it slipped my mind"

maybe i should just let it be and change my ways.

maybe i should just do wat I think is right.

Different understandings among two individuals

 lead to misunderstandings.

i love my chats with Sid!!

I stayed the whole all night long at home. Most likely because my stomach was bothering me all night, but what can i do? Just have to suck it up until i see my doctor.

Mum and myself were on the phone for quite awhile today. Talking about things/people. You know how we do. Gossip. It's bad, but oh so good!!!

Besides, thousand of thanks to sid, one of my long lost high school mates. Im so touched that he sacrificed his sleeping time just to accompanied me during my sleepless night. Im great that get in touch with him again. :) well, he is a silly dude, he grown up and changed alot. I love my chat with him as i always end up laughing because of his not so witty remarks.

Sid wil come back kk here for 2009 CNY. I'm very excited because I adore spending time with my bunch of high school mates!!! Sid.. waiting for you to come back and reunion ya~ *cheers*

i realised his love!!

I realised something.
My brother wants the best for me.
As long as it's reasonable and he able to give me.
He give whole heartedly.

How can i not be thankful with such a brother?
Even if he dont give as much.
Even if he just show that his love and care in other ways.

At the end of the day...
I reliased his love!!
I AM truly blessed!!!

waves hello

Hello dear humans out there~

Some things had happened badly these few days, or maybe weeks.
Most of them werent that very pleasing...
Well, i didnt want them to happen, but it did.
I guess thats life, huh? :)

I left some friends i love dearly, and i still do.
I left cause i was disappointed, by someone that spoil my happiness.
And i hatred. They put the blame on me.
And even denied everythng they said.
But i'm not sad or depressed.

I dont cry that much no more,
I know that its good for me to move on..
I accept the fact that friends are comes and goes..
I wont dying for friends who are really turned me down..
As i know, nothing for me to lose..

I still smile and hang out with my other friends .

Thank you :) They actually touched my heart with their understanding.

I realise that somehow.

I have finally burst out everything in my heart so long ago..

I really can stand up and face all problems in one go..

I smile when I'm sad or in any hard times.
Thanks to them :) I likes you guys.
Not because of you guys side on me.
But the real understanding on me.
And the all caring words that reached my heart.

And the other side of friends,
Y'all may misunderstand what i say and why i left.
But its okay, big thank you to every single memory we made,
Those were history. But histories to keep for sure :)
Thank youuuuuu. I never meant to walk away with an unexplained reason.
But somehow, i dont want to say anything more.
All i can say is i'm truly madly really seriously hold tight with our friendship.
Just that im totally tired with it anymore.

All i want is just a happy life..
Simplicity friendship is what i looking at.
Review my friendlist,
I realised some true colours of yours.
Walk away is the best solution.
Give up is my only choice..

thanks note for 3 dudes

Derrick, Denis and Dovern~

Thank you so so much for being there for me guys.
with the C!-O!-N!-N!-I!-E! CONNIEEEEEE thingy and all.
It was really touching being trusted by you guys!!!
Thanks for not dump me alone when the whole world walks out from me!!
I will find strength to move on~
and i promise.. no more tears from now!!

love you guys~ *hug*

DAMM IT!!! Get out from my life!!

Not everyone can please you the way you want to be pleased. right?
Why do you have to always complain about being left out?
Why do you get mad and sad for no reason at all?
Why do you deny words that you said?
Why do you still pretending now not admit it?
Why do you hide your true colours in front of them?
Why do you hurt my feelings once and once again?

I'm tired of saying the same stuffs to you over again!
I'm tired of forgive you once and once again!!!
Why can't you changed?! *sigh*

Why you want to burst me out?

Why you can just turned me down?

I hate you for what you are doing now!!!

Argh! i've been thinking a lot lately.

Things do get to my brain when i keep thinking over and over again.

I understand a lot of things now.

I do. looking at things much more positively now.

Thats a good thing right?

And i've been thinking.

Why dont you care?

Why dont you understand how i feel sometimes?

I'm not a doll for you to play with.

I am human and i have feelings!

Get the word feeling?

I dont wanna cry over some little things no more!

I'm doing what i'm saying.

No more crying over little things.

I dont mind you playing around with my mind.

But everyone has their own limits ok?

I repeat LIMITS!!

DAMN IT... PLEASE GET OUT FROM MY LIFE!!!

I WONT FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME!!!

YOU ARE FREAKING ANNOYING!!!

AND I HATE YOU,

I HATE MYSELF TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU!!!

Still the old me?

Lately I haven't been feeling quite myself.
I look in the mirror and don't recognize the reflection.
I have a hard time recognizing my wants and desires, not to mention my needs.
I can't seem to find the character I used to have.
I lose my patient to everyone, everything seems will burst out soon.

I pick up my phone, open it, but close it without calling...
I miss my friends and family, but how can they possibly understand me...
It's easier to hide in my busy life. So I work out, I surf, I read, and watch tv.
It means I don't have time to think about my problems.
I don't have to figure myself out.
I don't have to learn to love myself.
I'll just keep hustling through life.

Am i still the old me?

Thank you note for thos eas listed!!!

PROUDLY ANNOUNCE THAT : IM TRULY BLESSED!!!

yea.. thanks for all the text sms during my birthday (after 12.01am on 14/11/2008) check out your name below whether you are on my #top 10# ranking?


1. Ting Ting (12.01am)~
thanks for your blessing my sweetie *hug* we used to be so closed last time, but I need to admit that there’s an invisible wall in between us recently, which I know that we couldn’t get each other mind, but I try my very best to get through it. It's really surprised me that you are the 1st person to greet me vide sms at 12.01am sharp.. lol. *smile*

2. Su Nye (12.04am)~
If you are not my best friend, who else can consider as my best friend.. thanks for being my JihMui, thanks for being a part of my life, i cherished our friendship, and i'm sure that we gotta be forever friend till the end of our life. i love you. *hug*

3. Connie Lao (12.21am)~
thanks for your sms. I really touching as you still remember my birthday, especially during your hard time now. Thanks for your blessings, thanks for your efforts of maintain friendship with me even that we just gathered few times. Please be tough and take good care.*hug*

4. Donna (12.27am)~
thanks for remembered my birthday!! It's mean a lots to me!! I memorize back the time we struggled in KHP... thanks for still keep in touch with me even that we are not work together now, thanks for being my friend. Take care always.

5. Sean (12.39am)~
thanks for your arrangement for my birthday dinner, thanks for your blessings and the sunflower too!!! Thanks for the memorable birthday night!!! Thanks for being my buddy, thanks for being a part of my life, I cherished our friendship, my life not gonna be complete without you. Never ever give up on my friendship even if sometimes my jokes might hurt you, but you know that I don’t mean it!!! Please forgive me ~ we gotta be forever friend.. grown ‘mature’ (old) together… deal? And don’t forget our deal.. i.e. not gonna angry each other for more than 3 hours!!! Hehehe!!!!!

6. Denis (12.42am)~
even that i knew you not that long, but thanks for your blessings, thanks for the birthday and thanks for the Chanel lip gloss and I truly appreciate your efforts on our friendship!!! thank you for the touching words that wrote in the small card!!!! im always willing to be your Ah Mee Jia Jia!!! i got a sense that we can be forever friend.. cheers!

7. Jayson (12.47am)~
wow, surprised surprised surprised!!!!! i never expect your call and your roses.i its really surprised to see you pops out at Qbar and handed me the roses!!!! i love this surprised honestly!! thanks for coming Jayson!!!! This is the 1st time that u say "happy birthday" to me and you are the 7th person to greet me. i couldn't believe it till now… thanks for your blessing, thanks for the roses, and thanks for the surprised!!! *hug*

8. Dovern (1.13am)~
yea.. Luckily your name still under my TOP 10 ranking!!! If not I gonna KILL you!!! Haha… thanks for your blessings and arrangement, it's kind of surprised for me. Even that sometimes we have argument and unhappy moments, but I do feel touching with your gentle and sincerity heart. I treasured you and appreciate with your efforts on our friendship, thanks for being a part of my life. Please be more patient to me and I’ll try my best not to make your blood pressure high (hot) … lol… *promise* thanks for let me S*** you during my birthday night and let me shown all my angered towards you!!! All my sadness and angered gone after the S*** !!!! This is the first time and this is the last I promised!!! *hug*

9. Chi Chwan (8.10am)~
yea.. your blessings sms still in my TOP 10 ranking, totally out of my prediction, hahhaa.. thanks for your sms, thanks for still remember my birthday. Thanks for keep in touch with me and share with me your life in Singapore!! Please come back as soonest possible.. because I gonna introduce many pretty chicks for you!!! *promise*

10. Celing (8.22am)~
gal, even that i only met you few times, but thanks for remember my birthday and thanks for the blessings. do keep in touch with me and im sure we can be good friend. *hugz*

11. Jean (8.55am)~
thanks for your blessings, my dear. knew you for so long but we seldom have chance to hang out and even drink together, let’s arrange a night out together, if you not convenient to clubbing.. hehehe… yam cha also can bah!!! Lol!!! *smile*

12. Esther (8.59am)~
yea.. thanks dear, thanks for your blessing, thanks for your effort on our friendship. Take care always!! *hug*

13. Dayang (9.12am)~
thanks for your sms. i really touching as you still remember my birthday, thanks for your blessings, thanks for your efforts of maintain our friendship with me even that you are worked with KL.. I will never forget the times we shared during our high school and our tuition time!!! Im counting the day you come back and gonna give you a big hug when I see you again!!!! Waiting for you … gal… *cheers*

14. Lee Na (9.13am)~
i gonna give you a big hug once I meet you again. Knew you since the first day we born!!! (I guess so) .. in church sunday school hor? i think more than 28 years!!!!!!! my precious friend. so great that u never missed my birthday.. i love you, dear. u are my cherishable and forever friend for sure. Please always keep in touch with me… *hug*

15. Tze Ling (9.16am)~
yea.. thanks dear, thanks for your blessing, its really great to received your sms its mean a lot to me!!! *hugz*

16. Jane (9.55am)~
thanks for your blessing sms.. thanks for the birthday dinner, and the present that full of vitamin C!!! I believe my skin will getting better and healthy after finish the whole bucket of fruits and the grape juice!!!!!!! Hehe.. thanks for your patient and joined the party even that you may found weird or boring on that night!!! I really appreciate your efforts and looking forward to hang out more often with you!!!…. *cheers*

17. Nelson (10.16am)~
really surprised with your blessing sms!!! How could you do it??? Never ever thought that you remember my birthday!!! Even C Jack forgot it!!!! I gonna kill him when I meet him!!! Lol…. Appreciate appreciate and appreciate!!! Thank you for your kindness and helping hand whenever I have doubt in computer and mobile!!! You are one of the dai ko I treasured in my life!!! *hug*

18. Lynda (10.45am)~
thanks for your blessing sms, my dear. Thanks for your friendship and efforts of maintain it. Thanks for being a part of my life. I never forget that the precious moments we’d ever shared. Know that your are busy with your Prince Cayden recently and not dare to interrupt your time!!! But you and babe Cayden always in my mind.. love you!!! *hug*

19. Valerie (11.40am)~
thanks for your blessings, huggies wuggies for you!! Thanks for your kindness and patient, thanks for always cheer me up and be my companion when I was down!!! Please arrange time and we gotta meet!!!! You have missed out a lot of my story… im waiting to party/hunting with you after you totally recover!!! *cheers*

20. Derrick (1.46pm)~
you have really make a blast that night!!!! Until now I couldn’t believe that you came all the way from Singapore just to give me surprised!!!!! How lucky am I to know you as my friend? Thanks for your blessings, thanks for the surprised, thanks for your friendship, and thanks so much to make my 29th birthday wonderful!! You’d touched my heart with your sincerity!!!!! You've convinced me that im a lucky gal, you have proven me that im truely blessed!!! *hug*

21. Lavenne (1.46pm)~
wow.. so surprised to received your sms blessings. it's really out of my prediction, Its mean a lot for me!!!! *hug*

22. Uncle Simon (5.25pm)~
u never missed send me birthday blessings vide sms!!! I love you!!! Thanks for your caring and pampered!!! You always the best… cheers!!!

23. Michael (6.27pm)~
I couldn’t believe when I received your blessing sms!!!! How come you know that?? Thanks dude… gonna give you a big hug when I see you again ya…:P

24. CauMei (7.10pm)~
yea. I've been cheated by you for the 2nd time again!!!! How dare you cheat a birthday gal during her big day? and continuosly 2 years!!!! Hahaha!!! I wont believe you for my next 30th years birthday!!!! thanks for your sms, thanks for the birthday dinner, thanks for the earings and mickey mouse!!!! I love every single thing that you bought me!!!! I wish to let you know that, no matter what happen to you, im always here. i cherished you, you'd get my heart, my passionate, my trust and my loyalty friendship. You cant run away from me for sure!!! I gonna keep you as my jihmui until the end of my life!!!! *hug*

25. Nic (7.34pm)~
thanks for you blessings sms. Great to hear from you, take good care and be happy always *smile*

26. Patrick (7.47pm)~
its out of my prediction to get your blessing sms boy!! That’s why when i got your blessings, I really happy!!! thanks dude!!!!

27. Ray (7.52pm)~
wow wow wow…!!!! Never expect get any blessings from you!!! That’s why I was shocked when u told me that you are RAY!!!! Thanks dude!!!! Looking forward chill out with you when you in kk!!!! *cheers*

28. WanWan (10.25pm)~
thanks for remembered my birthday, thanks for your blessings!!! im surprised when I heard your voice!!! It's mean a lots to me!! Forget about all the misunderstanding and you are always my sweet lovely cousin!!! Call me yam cha whenever you free!!!

Besides the text message above,i also wish to special thanks to

~Edward~
thanks for your call darling!!! kinda sad this year my celebration without you. great to know you in my life and I bet you know that. I will never forget the time we shared during our HSBC period. Im always here for you whenever you need me!!! thank you for your efforts in our friendship. Never ever stop keep in touch with me, because I gonna keep you as my forever friend until the end my life!!! *promise*

~Camuel~
thanks for blessings, thanks for the sunflower, thanks for the birthday dinner and thanks for being my ‘driver’ all the times.. !!!! thanks for joined me for the birthday dinner and always took nice photos for me!!! thanks for brighten me when i was down, thanks for lent me you ears and listen to me when I need someone to talk . You are a good and understanding buddy for me and i got a sense that we can be forever friend!!!! *cheers*

~KaiZhen~sweetie, thanks for your blessings!!! Im so great to know that there is no gape between us even that im older than you more than 10 years!!! Hehehe… im proud to have a cousin like you, continue shine for God and all the best in your study!!! *hug*

~Kenny~
thanks for your blessings, thanks for the birthday dinner, thanks for the memorable homemade photo!!!! You’d touched my heart deeply!! This is the best present that I ever received!!!! Thanks for joined my birthday party after the dinner!!! This is the first time u danced with me and I really appreciate all your efforts!!!! *hug*

~Madeleine~
thousand of thanks for the birthday dinner arrangement (I know that the romantic restaurant was chosen by you)!!! Thanks for the sunflower (you know that I love it so much)!!! Thanks for the special surprised and the roses (you’d totally get my mind), thanks for your friendship, thanks for being my jihmui!!! Thanks for all the efforts that you have made with the purpose just to let me happy and make my 29th birthday remarkable with your presence!!!! !! You’d get my heart and win my loyalty friendship!!!! Now the big announce for you!!!! I love you Madeleine…. I gonna love you forever!!! *hugz* Appreciate with every single thing you have done and im sure you are the angel sent by God for me!!!!!! Promise me you will be my jihmui forever and forgive me if I have down anything that hurt your feelings!!!! Because I can’t take the risk of losing you as my jihmui!!!!!! *hug*

~Soffian~
thanks for the birthday dinner, thanks for the sun flower, and of course thanks for the entire photo shooting!!! im lucky to know you as my friend, I treasured you and for sure gonna keep you as my forever friend. you are always my Angel Soffian!!! wish you all the best in every single thing!!!*hug*

~LuWei~
im so great that you joined my birthday party!!!! thanks for your blessings and thanks for your efforts to our friendship, thanks for being a part of a life and pls continue keep in touch with me!!! i cherished you so much and wish our friendship forever!!!!

~Cosheen~
sweetie, never expect that you join the birthday dinner!!!! Im great to see you on!!! Its really means a lot to me!!! Thanks for your blessing, thanks for the lovely sun flower, and thousand of thanks for join the birthday party after dinner!!!! Im really enjoyed with your presence… thanks gal… let’s do hunting together next time!! Lol!!!! *cheers*

~Phei Ling~
thanks for everything, thanks for being my JihMui, thanks for being a part of my life, i cherished our friendship, and i'm sure that we gotta be forever friend till the end of our life. i love you.

~Jacky~
dude, thanks for remember my birthday!!! Thanks for your blessings. Im happy to see you during my birthday dinner!!!! Thanks for your kindness and thanks for always there for me!!! The luckiest thing I worked in Marco is get to know you!!! Thanks for still keep in touch with me even we are not work together now.. I appreciate your friendship and thank you for treated me so nice!!! I know that you are a friend for life!!! *grinn*

~Yiing Yiing ~
yeah... thanks for remember my birthday. thanks for joined my birthday night!!! Im really great to see you and looking forward to chill out with you again. *hug*

~Jita~
dude, thanks for your calling even that you are being reminded by ‘someone’, thanks for your blessing and the sun flower too!!!… its great to hear from you. *smile*

~Elaiza~
thought of you forgot my birthday.. luckily u still remember. lol. thanks dear.. your sms means a lot to me!! We used to be so closed last time but we are getting apart each day due to we have our own programme, I will never forget our precious moments and I miss our old days so much!!! Thanks for being a part of my life, thanks for your blessings and thanks for all the memories we’d shared. *hug*

~Ling~
even that you're not here, but there is not much different my sweetie, because you are always in my mind!!!! *hug* i'm waiting for you to come back!!! i gotta give you a big hug and I really miss the companion by you, I miss our late night talk, I miss every single moments we’d shared!!! Love you sweetie~

~Suzanne ~
thanks for your blessings. i really touching as you still remember my birthday, thanks for your efforts of maintain friendship with me even that we no more working together!!! please do take care and keep in touch with me always.

~Victoria~
hmhmmm... thought you forgot my birthday!!!... feel great that received your call early in the morning for the my birthday blessing!!! thanks gal. *hug* thanks for your blessings, and your efforts to maintain our friendship. thanks for those memories we had shared together when my time in hsbc. i cherished you, my friend. Please keep in touch always!!!! *cheers*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

besides the name list above, i sincerely give thanks to those who ever leave text messages in my Friendster and Facebook and not forget to thank you to my all online buddies, and thanks for everyone of you who ever greet me on/after my birthday. you guys are wonderful!!! i love y'all~ *cheers*.

Surprised me with a dozen of roses~

Jayson surprised me with a dozen of roses during my birthday night!!! Thanks Jayson for the surprised!! strawberries hugs for you!!

Even that im not much passionate on roses, but still, im happy when i received it!!! The wonderful surprised not comes from the roses.. but just the way Jayson came to me all in sudden and handed me the roses!! Just the way i like... in a romantic way!!! .... just the way like happens in the korean movie!!! Oh Gosh!!!.... its really touched my heart and i know that my heart gonna melt anytime!! lol.

thousand of thanks to my sweetie - Madeleine. i know she is the one who arranged everything!! love you chick, apreciated all efforts you've made!! Huggies Wuggies for you !!!!

Brighten me with Sunflowers~

SUNFLOWERS ~ THE FLOWER I LOVE THE MOST

The sunny face of a sunflower always makes me smile

I think it must be almost impossible to not feel happy when you see sunflowers ...

Sunflowers have a special meaning for all of us in hard time.

I think that God made them as a special encouragement.

I think this is probably one of the main reason I love sunflowers!!

THANKS FOR THE SUNFLOWERS THAT I RECEIVED DURING MY BIRTHDAY!!

Y'ALL DEFINITELY BRIGTHEN ME WITH SUNFLOWERS!!

My 29th Appreciate Mummy for giving me birth day!!

My birthday this year was truly an unforgetable one. On the eve of my birthday, i reminisced on last year birthday, so many things can change in 1 year. no matter what i'm still thankful for this year.i wanted this year to be something different. no more tears for this year!!!

So on the whole, i had a memorable 29th birthday. i laughed a lot yesterday and i wanna thank everyone that made my day a special one. May y'all be blessed in all the things that you do!

nothing and just blah~

if u look at the sky everyday, you see a different painting. that's how God is. Miraculous.

some days are just plain grey, some plain blue, some days are cloudier than other days,

some days...when the sun says good bye to us and hello to the other side of the earth...

im so sick now.. i wish i could have a good rest!!! have a nice dream everyone~