everything hit at once~

SICK SICK SICK... i hate to be sick!!

Arghhh...

i know some friends are worried about me,

i can see it in their faces, can hear it in their voices, can even figure out from their message,

im alright there..

just that... sometimes

i wish to be alone.

Starts with goodbye..

Just ran across this little poem and liked it~

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,

I guess I’m gonna have to cry,

And let go of some things I’ve loved,

To get to the other side.

I guess it’s gonna break me down,

Like falling when you try to fly.

The only way you try to find.

It’s sad but, sometimes moving on with the rest of your life.

Close the book, and start a new chapter in my life~

Its time for me to move on and live life~

dream about LeeHom~

I had a sweet dream about LeeHom last night. wow.. its just amazing!! he is so real and talk to me :) we are on the same flight and having our meals together. arggghhh.. i wish that i can just sleep and continue my dream.

低调 ~

歌曲名称：低调

嬉笑 打闹 拥抱
留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮
一起生活 也一起埋怨过
走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明 你知道

晨昏 日夜 颠倒
这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好
再多关心都徒劳
爱情从来就没有固定的味道
它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调
因为不想打扰我在寂寞的墙角
努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报
朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好
难到是我对我自己 不够好

Please pipe up for me~

In my heart I feel as i should restrict my contact with him as more and more I am feeling used, but this scares me as well because i know we both appreciate with each other's friendship. It is a double edged sword and I am having extreme difficulty dealing with it. 

Please pipe up for me~

.

please hold tight to me~

Im in this constant struggle again. I feel like i don't need any friends again. I don't know what to do anymore, where to step or where to turn. I wish to take my heart out and throw it out to sea, i wish to take a deep breath and have a good sleep, i wish to find a peaceful mind which i couldn't find on this planet, is there any kind soul can hear me?

I should be strong enough to handle every challenge in my life, but this fear always eat away at me. God in heaven, i am trying to do the best i can, i need you to hold me tight until i fall into everlasting sleep. Please come to me and heal all my wounds,

Please raise me up..

I am still finding strength to overcome the fear..

i hate myself~

I feel so stupid for getting myself into this situation.

So lost. Feel very, very used.

Just feel like running away from it all

We are drifting and i think

we can't be good friends anymore.

I hate myself for being a stupid.

I hate myself more and more...

.

i am trying to overcome ~

He said he was unaware of how much he hurt me and he did apologies..He did apologies, he asked me whether i want him to kill himself in front of me... i seriously doubt with this. i guess i just need time to overcome.

I do miss him but i don’t miss the heartache he caused me. I am trying not to angry him now because i can never change who he is. I am trying to be happy for him and forgive him.

CNY is coming in the corner, all our mutual friends will come back and i know that i cant run for seeing him. No matter how wrong is he, i still have to kept everything to myself and continue protect of him in the eyes of others... because he is a friend for life... a friend that i treasured the most... but only God know, only if i able to overcome the feeling... ... otherwise, i don’t know if i could ever keep him as a good friend again~

you cant see~

i'd lie to myself to the things that everybody knows are truths. sigh.. im just stupid :( i hate myself for being stupid!!!