Tuesday, October 24, 2006
how can i feeling better?
everytime when i came home from outside, i would called his name and feed him, take him out from his cage and hug him, i love him very much, i feed and care him day in and day out, i bathed him every once in a week, bring him to the playground to let him free, he is the only one who'd cuddle with me when i was lonely, cold, or scared, unfortunately, i need to change all these habit from now on, because he was leave me forever.. yeah .... forever.... :'(
he is my pet, my sole companion, even he just a rabbit named QQ, but i treated him as my 'good boy', sometimes i think of him as a part of my family member. a pet that can accompany me when i'm alone, a pet that can play with me and just be my side when i dont feel like talking. i talked with him when no one else listen to me, i shared my secret with him and i know that he wont tell a soul, for me, he is someone over there and never judged, he is someone always there and never leave me if i cry and would listen even though he probably not understand my words. i knew that he cant stay with me forever, like all living things, wil surely die at some point. i understand, just that i keep wondering is that my fault to caused him died?
QQ died and it caused me to remember other painful losses and upsetting events in my past, may be for a while, i may not feel anything at all. but right now, at this moment, i dont know what's wrong with me, i feel like crying non stop, nobody can understand my feeling now, and i pissed that people telling me that he was just a rabbit, just a pet and i should get over him, hurtful comments 'dont be so upset, it was only a rabbit, a pet!! and ' you can get another one to replace', their thought added me to the grief and feeling of isolation and loneliness, because no one understand how much i love him...
i knew that a new rabbit can't replace my QQ, i'd never have another rabbit just like QQ. i have used to have QQ when he was 3 weeks old, and it was difficult for me to say good-bye and let him go, i extremely sad when he was died and i don't think it's silly, i love him, may be i really need time to let him go and adopt a new one... but not at this moment, i'm sure.
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Just love me for who i am~
2 comments:
I first want to apologize for not having read any of your previous entries about QQ. I've been so busy lately, but I did intend on going back and reading them, even before you posted this entry.
Secondly, I understand how painful this was for you. I know what it is to lose someone very close to you, whether they be human or animal. Nothing I can say will make this any easier for you, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. As for anybody else that didn't seem to care, fuck 'em. They just don't understand. This kind of thing furthers my belief that animals are better creatures than most people.
Anyway...I am here for you if you need me. *hugs*
I understand what you've gone through, and are still going through. Sadly, some people cannot think on a deeper level than that. They see QQ as only "pet" and not "friend" or "family member". What many people do not seem to realize is that we humans are animals as well. Why is it so inconceivable that a human could love a rabbit and refer to him as "friend" or "family member"? Humans may have the more complex thought processes (I would say "greater intelligence", but that isn't always the case), but at our core, we are no different than any other creature on this earth. I could go on with this philosophy of mine, but I digress from the point.
If anybody tries to tell me that when my BUBBLE dies (which will hopefully not be anytime soon), I will give them a black eye.
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